For example, this spring I took a new position with an old company I used to work for that now had me working from home. That was an adjustment. But I like the flexibility and the ability to do my job the way I want to do it without being chained to a cubicle all day long.
I also have really gotten into studying the Word more and what it has to say about well, everything. Earlier this summer I also got to see Kay Arthur at the HBC Women's Conference, that was amazing and life changing and I will never study or read my Bible the same way again. I highly recommend you try your hand at this book and its workbook, its heady, but very very good!
In the midst of all of this, there was nothing on the pregnancy front either, and I mean nothing for almost 7 months since everything went down before. I was starting to lose hope, wondering how I had gone essentially from "fertile Myrtle" to a barren wasteland in a matter of months. Essentially I was really starting to get how Sarah was feeling. However, earlier this month I found out I was pregnant again, however my HCG levels proved to not be doubling as expected and just as last summer, we experienced another early loss.
However, a midst all of this I realized some things about myself and my relationship with God that I hadn't realized before. I have realized that my blind faith that I tend to see as a strength most of the time, was causing me in this instance of loss was making me remove myself out of "faith" so that I didn't have to deal with the reality of really being sanctified. I took some great insight from this other wonderful blog here. In addition, these losses (yes we are now at three) have made me realize how much of a heart I really have for those who have unplanned pregnancies and how important it is for them to have someone to lean on. Also, the amount of knowledge I have gained about being content, I mean really being content in all circumstances has been a huge eye opener.
As the blog I cited earlier states, I always thought of motherhood as an entitlement, something I had "earned" by being a good person and a devout follower. I thought that since I had essentially followed the rules: marriage, abstaining until we were married, going/finishing an advanced degree, saving and spending appropriately, following Jesus, that meant that I should be a mother, that I had "earned" it in a way. This is SO not the case.
